who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Dignity is for republicans.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
