I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
