Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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