when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize