oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
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it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
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I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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