We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
