yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
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I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
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I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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