Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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