he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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