You just made me feel so damn special
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
