Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
