Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
