The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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