Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
