Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
she smelled like a LAN party
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize