Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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