like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I don't deserve a penis
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
