Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
