is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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