At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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