I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
