I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
