Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
