He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
