I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
