come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize