I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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