I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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