I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
