This dress was meant to end up on your floor
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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