I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
