whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
