I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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