My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He? As in you personified your dick?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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