I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
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