if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
