Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize