Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
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