i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
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I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
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It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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