I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Boobs speak an international language.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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