I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
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Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
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do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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