We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Randomize
