I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
