No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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