if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
