Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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