We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
