I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
