Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
