Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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