He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You've changed since you got that strap on
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
