How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize