She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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