Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
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