the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
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#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
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also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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