what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Farmville is her only friend.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
