His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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